closer... thats all im looking for.

You crushed every inch of faith I had in you, if you knew how crushing this feeling was then you would understand. But you dont. I had said alot of thing in anger before, but im not angry right now, im honest with myself when i say, you will always think your the 'victim' but your not. your the problem your the reason why things turn out the way  you wanted.

I've given up on telling myself everything's okay
Given up on trying
Given up on you.

---------------------------------

It's almost been a week.

The hurt and anger is wearing off and

 the void you filled is starting to empty.

I havent talked to him in 2 days

I'm so sick & tired of acting like i'm fine, cus truthfully, i'm not.
I can't even talk to you without being so incredibly sad. You were the one
person who was always supposed to be there for me, one of my best friends,
my everything.. & you ruined it all in that moment & i acted like it
didn't hurt, & for a while, i didn't think it did..but the tears are here &
i now realize that it hurt more than anything

--------------------------------------------------

Today is day two.
Yesterday was easy. But I was sick. I slept all day.

Today on the other hand i feel weak.

Why? I have no reason to feel this way.

Although I cant say I wouldn't give him yet another chance!

And Why the hell would I give him another chance?

to my head it makes no sense but to my heart its a totally different story.

I turn the lights out and I am reminded of the empty space beside me.

I wake up wanting to talk about the dreams i had.

I go to sleep still wanting the same arms that broke my heart.
How does this make sense?

My head vs My heart

Its been years since i had such a broken heart.

Its been even longer that i have opened my heart like that.

You Love and you Learn

When do you get to Live in Love?

...I know I know its all in time...

But that doesn't stop the hurt.

 that doesn't heal my heart any quicker.

Humiliation.

Its a funny thing.

You take a leap of faith on someone you love.

You give them opportunity after opportunity

and what do you get?

Humiliation.

-----------------------------

&& she finally told him how she felt. she
downright spilled her heart out. .. & she
prayed to herself that he would care, but
he just walked away as she silently stood
there..