Tuesday, November 27, 2012

it amazes me that my mind wonders to you

We all miss the love we once had.
it lingers on our mind, like their kiss lingers on our lips
or their touch lingers on our skin...
triggered by a smell, an emotion that we never thought would be close to how we once felt,
triggered by the holiday that you spent together...
triggered by the memory of them telling you they would be there forever...
 the wounds have healed
the hurt that was once so painful
is only memory
just like the blue eyes that made everything ok.

moving on...
its all a blur
i loved you and you loved me
but i would of loved you a thousand years
while your love was conditional
id go back and do it a thousand times over
but i would never ask for it back.
nor would i wish it on anyone else
Five years.
it took me to let you go
and ill never ask for that time back
because just like the boy before you
ive learned.
ive learned my love is worth a heart just as strong mine

it amazes me that my mind wonders to you.
i havent thought of you in months
but ive almost loved someone
i wouldve moved mountians for
 if he would of told me they were standing in his way
but he didnt
and that intuition that was once used as a weapon for you
is being used as a sheild
because im afraid someone else has the oppertunity
i can only wish for at this point.

Monday, November 26, 2012

just a thought or two!

we spent all night together, laughing at nothing&
talking too much, & the moonlight was so bright in
your eyes, before I knew it I was falling in love
--------------------------------------
I miss him.

No I don't miss him.
I miss the fun we used to have.
the time we spent in the dark,
laughing so hard we cried
I miss having someone to hold me
I miss having someone to talk to about the future.

they say love comes to you when your not looking
but I can't not look.
its all I've ever wanted.
Someone to love me.
I want to build a life with one man.
I want to have a family of my own.
I want to have that fairytale ending.
I know that that there will be up and downs
and im not looking for a perfect life...
im looking for a full life
one that will remind me that its not all a dream
the tears. the laughter. a heart so full of love.

my heart is full of love.
but im talking about a different love.

The first boy i loved....
couldnt love me back.

the second boy i loved....
showed me how amazing it was to be loved back.
but it was the strength of my love that scared him
he felt like he was unworthy of such love
yet he only proved himself to be right

i have almost loved.
more than a couple times...
but intuition is a powerful thing
that can be used as both a sheild and a weapon.
and the older i get the more aware i am of it.

i only wish the bricks that i use to gaurd my heart didnt harden
everytime i let someone in only for them to let me down.

the next man i love...
will be just that a man 
someone worthy of my love
and one who wont run when things get rough
a man who will want to take a disagreement as an oppertunity
to find one more reason to love me...
because I am me.
-------------------------------------------------

i want to be your
favorite hello & hardest goodbye